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Greetings and Salutaions!

Due to the fact that we are moving house today there will be no blogs (sad we know) for the next week...or until we get the internet back again!

Please try and hold strong at this time. We know it will be painful but if we all pull together I'm sure we will make it through these uncertain times.

As always we are very grateful to those of you that take the time to read our blog and at this glorious time of year we send you a giant big red Thank You! It's in the shape of a Santa too...close your eyes and all will be revealed!

We wish you all a very,very Happy Christmas

Love from Ollie and Amy xxx

where's all this great weather we've heard so much about?

Snap is probably the loudest of all card games, as well as being most likely the simplest. For both of these reasons, mainly the first, it is one of my favourites. Whenever I play, the game usually descends into a bellowing shouting match or an awful farmyard of noise, if we play the ‘animal noise’ version. A woman and an estate agent were about to arrive for a viewing at the house so I knew everything had to be perfect with behaviour at its best. Entertaining Skye with cards seemed a sensible way to keep her amused for the duration of the viewing. Now, what card games would 4 year olds be able to play? Of course Snap was my first choice but knowing the noise level it required I was put off. However I saw a great opportunity to ‘reinvent’ the game for a whole new generation...‘Whisper Snap’! I explained the rules to a very attentive Skye and when I got to the part about shouting Snap if she saw a pair I said ‘You have to whisper the word snap. it’s very important that you whisper because that’s how you win. If you don’t whisper ‘snap’ then it won’t count. I am a genius! It worked! On that divine morning I played the first ever recorded game in all Snap history (I think) of ‘Whispering Snap’. And what a success it was! Skye loved the game, and, after a few gentle prompts, became very good at the game. So for any parents who have yet to teach their child the wonderous game of Snap for fear that your ears will be ever more left ringing each time it is played then please don’t delay any longer. ‘Whisper Snap’ could be for you!

Another of Skye’s favourite games at the moment is Pairs. You know the one where you have to make pairs from matching tiles that are all placed face down? She has an amazing memory! There was no need for me to kindly (if not reluctantly!) let her win, she needed no help in that area! I made the fatal mistake of offering a free ‘Dairy run’ (Sweet shop visit) to the competitor that won five games in a row. I did not win but ended up five dollars worse off! We don’t play for that kind of prize anymore. Now it’s ‘The winner has to give Uncle Ollie a kiss’ or ‘The winner mustn't punch Uncle Ollie for the next hour’. The only way I had of attempting to win was by placing my head on the table and trying to see the reflection colour of the tile on the table. As Dad taught me, sometimes cheating is the only way! I was dismayed to see a few days later however that Skye had worked out this great way to cheat too!

One night Skye asked me to read her a bedtime story. We spent a few minutes choosing the perfect book. This was actually more a case of Skye casually reclining on her bed whilst directing a tippy toed, clambering Auntie through a number of boxes that were to high to see into, guessing which book ‘felt’ like it would be a good one. Eventually a ‘Barbie Princess’ edition was picked and we both sat down ready for an exciting adventure (If I’m honest I was not expecting great things!). Now when I was little, a bedtime story had to include Mum or Dad ‘doing the voices’ and varying their pace, volume and vocal levels of excitement until I was enthralled by whichever Famous Five book we were reading (yes Enid Blyton was a must in those days!). So of course over the years I have perfected my own bedtime story abilities and have even mastered looking ahead whilst reading so that Mrs Grumbles or Prince Sebastian don’t get their voices mixed up. There is nothing worse than the valiant hero of a story suddenly coming out with a great phrase like ‘I’ll get you, you swine’ in the sweet voice of Alice the chamber maid. It spoils everything! I did my best to entertain Skye and apparently she loved my version of the story. Since then I have read most of her books, including one about Diggers. Not my favourite subject area but nevertheless searching for the dog’s missing ball in a pile of rubble was not as boring as it might sound!

* * *

On Saturday we went to nearby Totara Park for Mac’s end of year Football Team BBQ. It’s a huge park with outdoor swimming pools, tennis courts, bit of forest and lots of open space. The kids all loved it and it was a chance for the Dads to try and beat their sons at football; although I think the only thing they won was a loss of breath and a sweaty forehead! I was sad I wasn’t old enough to take part in the ‘Lolly dash’ (sweets are thrown for the kids to try and grab), and looked on with green eyes as the children counted up their winnings. Oh and yes I did steal a chocolate when noone was looking! I’m only human after all...well only Amy anyway!

The residents of New Zealand take their BBQ’s very seriously. And I mean SERIOUSLY! Some families go down to the park or beach just before sunrise so as to get the best spot and erect gazebos, tents and all sorts. They bring down their gas BBQ’s (none of this charcoal rubbish) and cook all manner of delights! I’ve never seen so much preparation go into a family picnic gathering, it’s a little daunting! Luckily the team event was far more low quay, and dare I say it...British?! Everyone with us was laughing at the ‘Bros’ as they call them. Even so our BBQ still had steaks! A treat Ollie is keen to get used to! 

On Sunday we went swimming again, but this time to a more conventional pool. I even swam a few lengths before my lungs fell out of toes! The great thing about the pools in South Auckland is that they all give free admission. I know! Ollie and I are still amazed by the fact...nothing is free at home! There was an indoor and an outdoor pool but as it wasn’t that warm I decided to stick inside and amuse myself with the sight of a Korean man in the next lane who was doing a front crawl arm action whilst walking, face down, through the water. In fits of giggles I looked up to see the sign for the lane he was in actually did say ‘walkers/talkers’ although I think this guy took it a little too literally. Unless this is a new technique I haven’t heard of yet. ‘The walking front craw’?!

The weather over the last few days had been horrible. For the main reason that it has just been constantly raining. Yesterday it was Mac’s school awards ceremony and by the time we had taken the five minute walk up to school, we were all drenched! The ceremony had been planned for outside but due to the rain, had been moved indoors at the last minute. This meant that there wasn’t enough space for all the parents and due to ‘health and safety’ they could only lay out about 40 chairs and the rest of us had to stand behind, crouch in front or for the most part, hover in doorways trying to keep out of the torrents. Considering the entrances and exits were so crammed full of parents, I would have thought this to have been more of a fire hazard than a few measly chairs! Who knows. 

Anyway Skye and I left Ollie to try and find a space where she could see better and finally settled for a patch just behind the school kids. The floor was full of big puddles but there was nothing to be done but sit on them. A soaked bum for two hours was an interesting new sensation for me to experience. The National Anthem was sung before the Head Teacher gave an interesting opening speech which was followed by the class excellence awards, which dragged on for what seemed like an eternity. Then the children all sang a song. Skye and I enjoyed that part! An ex pupil gave a very inspiring speech about his time at the school and following experiences at Intermediate and College. He had gained a scholarship to one of the top schools in the area and was back to encourage other young pupils to do the same. Following his speech, two of what appeared to be his friends or one friend and a tutor, stepped onto the stage and performed a Haka. Now in my ignorance I didn’t know there was more than one Haka but afterwards I asked Nigel and he told me that there are many that belong to different Maori tribes. It was an awesome display of vocal power, physical strength and insane tongue gymnastics. It looked like the young guy had a mask on with the faces he was pulling. The Huka sent the whole room into a powerful spell as we looked on with awe and fascination at the two men on stage.

Finally there was the cup giving. I’ve never seen a Primary school with so many cups to award! There must have been at least ten and probably a few more! But the most important, judging by the children’s reactions, had to be the house cup. As the pupils waited in anticipation, the teacher on stage proudly held up the trophy with its green, blue, red and yellow ribbons fluttering from the handles. As she announced the second place, Kaori, the yellow team and Mac’s house, let out a massive roar as they realised they were the winners. Obviously Mac was very proud to tell us that ever since he had been at that school his team had won the cup!

I really enjoyed participating in the schools evening and experiencing a very different education system to my own. At first glance it may not look so different but when I found out the schools are only partially Government funded and how the set up differs it made me realise how lucky British children are. For all its faults, our schools are definitely well set up to provide an excellent standard of education for our children. I am also of the opinion that perhaps we could learn something about improving the area of creativity and sport from other countries, but academically I believe we have it pretty sound. This is not to say that I didn’t witness an excellent standard of achievement at Mac’s school, because I did, but the talk the board of trustees gave highlighted the fact that perhaps this school was one of the higher achievers and that others were simply written off because of their racially varied intake. This guy was saying that of course it shouldn’t matter where children come from, they all deserve to do as well as the next. Looking around the room there was a vast proportion of Pacific, Asian and Maori children and parents and it was refreshing to see such varied cultures all integrating, apparently very well, together. Of course there are problems, but this school seem to be very aware and committed to offering a fantastic equal opportunity ethos.

Before visiting New Zealand I had no knowledge really of Maori people and definitely didn’t realise they were still very much a part of New Zealand. In my ignorance I suppose I had assumed that like many tribes they had been horrifically disposed of by settlers as many others across the globe have been. In a way perhaps, this is partially the case but from an early age children at school are educated and taught to speak simple Maori terms. Mac and Skye both sing the national anthem in both Maori and English and at the awards ceremony, certain parts of people’s addresses were given in both languages. New Zealand is definitely a country proud of its roots and varied culture and they take great pride in preserving and honouring it. 

As I sat and watched the little children walking across the stage clutching their medals and certificates I was reminded of when I was at school. Back then all I dreamed of was being grown up, having my own money and doing ‘grown up’ things. Sitting on the wooden floor with a wet bum, suddenly all I wanted to be was a child again. No responsibility, no real worries (panicking that so and so may not be talking to you the next day I have come to realise does not class as a real worry), no commitments or restrictions, your whole life ahead of you. Ahhh the days of bliss that I wished past me all to quickly. I will always have a sense of ‘if only I could do it all again’ because if I could, I would definitely have tried harder to win more awards at school and not be put off by the thought that it wasn’t cool! Because no adult cares about whether it is cool to achieve! It is only a childish falsity that most of us would have fallen victim to from time to time.

When I have my reminiscent times of mild regret and nostalgia I recall one of my favourite stories. It was one of the best, not just because Dad did a great interpretation of a grumpy, hungry troll or Mum made the grass sound absolutely, mouth watering delicious, but because of the sentiment that is so so true. ‘The Three Billy Goats Gruff’ holds one of the greatest statements I know and although it doesn’t always have to be the way and life is what you make it, unfortunately for me it so often seems to be the case. The grass is always greener on the other side...

13/12/11

when we were young...

‘YELLOW CAR!’ 

Punch.

‘I said I WASN’T playing!’

‘YELLOW CAR!’

Punch. Punch.

‘For the last time, I said, I’M NOT playing anymore!’

As we sped along the freeway towards Auckland city, Uncle Ollie suffered many minor injuries due to the out of hand ‘Yellow Car’ game that was unofficially taking place. Much to Mac’s disappointment, Uncle Ollie had had enough of being beaten to a pulp and was trying to put an end to the unruly game. He was struggling however because Skye and his own sister had also decided to play along and they two were jabbing at any piece of exposed flesh available to them. I’m not sure the game ever came under control, we just arrived at Mount Eden and everyone became distracted...for a while. I suppose that particular game was some relief from the mammoth ‘eye spy’ tournament that has taken place on every car expedition since we got here. Most of the time the game runs smoothly, but every now and then Skye will become fixated by one particular word, e.g. chair and repeat it continuously until some would finally take a turn and say ‘something beginning with C’, at which point she would guess...‘Steering Wheel?’. I haven’t laughed so much on a car journey since the days of Ollie singing along to a Gwen Stefani song many years ago!

From the top of Mount Eden we could see pretty much the whole of the city. The sky tower looming high above any other building (long gone are the sky scrapers of American cities), the marina and harbour, the big bridge, the viaduct and the 2011 World Cup Rugby stadium, built for the tournament. It isn’t a huge city but it is far more pleasant to look at than most. Situated right on the waters edge and surrounded by little tree covered islands, it’s an awesome view. The land is mainly flat but every so often there is a random hill that sporadically appears. Mount Eden itself has a giant volcanic crater at the top. Ollie spent a few minutes arguing with Nigel about what rocks were or weren’t volcanic. I stopped listening part way through, it wasn’t a very scintillating discussion! After attempting to take a few panoramic shots and Ollie complaining that we need a better camera (which I suppose we do), we all got back in the car and drove down into the city to find some lunch.

The viaduct has loads of bars and restaurants, including a giant fish market that Ollie is already obsessed with. Most of the buildings were built for the world cup so the whole place looks very new. Here also was where a helicopter recently crashed while putting up the christmas tree. The story made the news headlines and Ollie, Char and I had actually been there when the crash had occurred! Deciding on fish and chips we sat outside the market. It was pretty windy. Charlotte commented ‘Every time we all eat out we seem to get wind.’ Hmm...!

We spent the afternoon at Mission Bay, a long stretch of beach on the outskirts of the city. It was a pretty place and the kids were in the water immediately. Unconvinced by the shouts that the water was ‘warmer than last time’ neither Ollie or I dared to go in. A cup of coffee definitely seemed the better option!  Back at home it was time to prepare the food for the BBQ we were having that evening. Rob and Chris, Nigel’s parents, came over and brought some very tasty homemade chicken kebabs. It was a great evening and really nice to get to know some more people here. 

Sunday it rained and rained, and oh, rained some more. Ollie, Mac, Skye and I went to a nearby swimming pool and the kids wouldn’t stop talking about the amazing ‘Hydro Slide’. Unfortunately this outing did nothing other than cement my unhappy realisation that we were no longer able to class ourselves as children or even young adults. The sad fact was that we were now...grown ups.

I hadn’t been to a fun pool in a long time. As the four of us bundled into a family changing room and Skye threw off her clothes I suddenly wished I was 4 again too. Instead I had to hobble round a corner trying to push my ever lumpier body into my bikini. Now I know I’m not ‘old’ by any stretch of the imagination but you have to admit that there does come a stage in your life when you realise you don’t quite have that perfect adolescent body that you still like to imagine you did. That lovely flat stomach that you never had to try with has suddenly turned to mush and it’s now a case of berating yourself for not doing enough exercise every time you catch yourself in the mirror after a shower. Anyway, after my deeply unconfident body moment I finished getting Skye into her togs, persuaded Mac that we ‘wouldn’t look’ and finally got him to get changed. Meanwhile Ollie had somehow changed without anyone even realising. 

Stepping out of the changing rooms, Ollie and I immediately felt like giants at a Borrowers’ swimming pool. The slides were tiny (apart from the ‘hydro slide’), the water spouts came up to our shoulders and the lazy river was thigh deep. Even the main part of the pool came up to our ankles for the most part. What had happened to us? Where had the super cool amazing fun pools with rushing water, crazy slides and water fountains like these gone? Had some cruel hobbit come in and changed all the fun pools? Had my memories been distorted? As Ollie came whirling down the Hydro Slide with Skye on his lap they almost flew out the end of the landing tube, most of the water actually did! Why was everything so small? And then it hit me. Everything wasn’t small. We were just big. We had grown up. This horrible, depressing fact sunk in even harder as after an hour both Ollie and I were panting. ‘How long have we been here? Is it almost tome to go?’ Ollie looked at me with eyes that were begging for the answer to be yes. Meanwhile Mac and Skye were still running up the steps to the slide over and over. Never tiring. ‘Come on Uncle Ollie! Take me down again!’ yelled Skye. Obviously twenty times down the big (well bigger) Hydro Slide wasn’t enough!

Then the thing that used to annoy me more than anything when my family used to go swimming happened. We would all be having fun and then suddenly Dad would say he was feeling cold and would have to get out. I used to wonder how the hell he could be feeling cold when I was boiling hot and we were in a warm pool! But now, finally, all these years later I understood. Because without realising it, I found myself wading through the shallows, shivering, and thinking ‘I’m cold’. Since when had I turned into Dad?! Or more to the point, since when did I get to the point where fun pools just weren’t so fun anymore and more of a tepid ankle paddling experience? So, cold and slightly wet I made it over to my towel to sit and watch Ollie take the slide over and over. Poor guy. To see Skye and Mac having sooo much fun made me smile. It was their turn now. But it wasn’t all bad. Chasing Skye round the lazy river was lots of fun, not so much falling out my bikini top and not realising, but some things never change.

* * *

Today was Mac’s Sports Day. Now. I thought that it was an English tradition that it would always rain on a schools sports day, but apparently not. This morning, just as we were about to walk up to the school, the clouds exploded and we were greeted with yet another bout of rain. I’m not angry at the weather here so far, I’m just a little disappointed! It’s not cold at all and when the sun is out it’s absolutely scorching, but so far I have experienced more rain than I did the whole entire time we were in America! Anyway. The rain didn’t last long and we found out the event had been moved back a couple of hours. All was not lost! The fact that the Sports Day did take place on the intended day is definitely an improvement on back home. One year I think I didn’t even have one the weather was so bad for weeks!

We cheered and shouted as Mac won almost every one of his races. He would have won the hurdles too, but tripping over one set and then crashing head first into the second and third kind of hindered him! I don’t think he finished last though. His running race was brilliant but the real surprise of the day was the long jump. Mac certainly jumped the furthest in his group but I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t make the longest jump in the whole event! He was almost out the sand pit! All the teachers were very impressed and stories of his jump were soon passing between them. Overall his house won the most points and were declared the overall winners. Ollie and I were very impressed by our little sporty nephew and by the giant grin on his face I think Mac was pretty proud too! 

I can’t believe it’s less than three weeks until Christmas! It feels very odd to not be surrounded by miserable cold weather and maybe a little snow. Never the less I am already satisfying my yearly Mince Pie addiction and we’re all getting into the Christmas spirit. We have been dancing to Christmas tunes most evenings, always led by Skye! One of her favourites is Jingle Bells, and thanks to her I have it permanently going round in my head. Well, I have her interesting version of the lyrics in my head! Now please everyone, sing along...

Jingle bells

Jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Old Mc farm

It is to ride

On a one horse open sleigh

Hey!

(Repeat)!!

6/12/11

Where are all the sheep??

As we sat on the beach trying to eat our fish and chips while a giant sand storm swirled around us and the sea gulls edged ever closer I couldn’t stop smiling. Mackenzie teased the gulls, throwing imaginary chips for them while Skye sobbed about the sand in her chicken nuggets. The adults tried hastily to eat their food before it to became sand. Suddenly came a cry ‘I’VE GOT A PRICKLE’ and Skye cried even harder. As Nigel tried to comfort her we couldn’t help but giggle at her dramatic calls for help. The family picnic on the beach was fast descending into chaos and yet I was having a great time. This was a family holiday, the kind of holiday neither Ollie or I had been on for at least sixteen years and it was wonderful! After half an hour it was time to head back to the batch otherwise it would only a matter of time before Skye and Mac broke free and went for a swim, despite our attempts to explain that it was seven in the evening and the water would be freezing. They managed a paddle which was more than Ollie or I could! I’ve got to admit I was impressed at their ability to not feel the cold, if only I was four again!

The following day we took a walk around Whitanga (pronounce the Wh as a Ph). The wind had picked up again and was literally blowing us around the place. We watched as Skye and Mac finally got their swim. It was so lovely to see them splashing about and playing together. Oh and fighting ‘Uncle Ollie’, tripping him up and bundling on top of him! Charlotte and I sat and chatted, it was great to be finally really getting to know each other and I loved having another girl to talk to. After six weeks of mainly boys it was a great change! Later in the afternoon the kids, Ollie, Nigel and I went and picked ‘Pippies’ (I think they’re like mussels but I’m still not sure!) in the shallows as the tide went out. We managed to gather a bucket full, well they all did, I was more of the bucket holder! All around us tons of other children and parents were doing the same thing, it was great to be involved in an apparent New Zealand hobbie! 

Ollie had promised he would take Mac and Skye fishing while we were away, so after buying some frozen squid (eww) he found two rods in the garage and we headed down to the small pier. As the bait was torn and placed onto hooks Ollie got very serious and into explaining how we were going to fish. I’m not sure at that point if it was Ollie or the kids who were more excited about the prospect of catching something! Skye and Mac were fishing with a rod that had six hooks on the line while Nigel had a rod with only one hook. Within minutes Mackenzie was reeling in his first fish as Skye skipped beside him all smiles. It was her turn next and she managed to get a big fat one that flapped about on the pier as Ollie tried to grab it to throw it back. Skye was so funny fishing. She would stand with the rod patiently, but as soon as she got a bite she would start hopping up and down exclaiming ‘IT’S WIGGILING!’ until Ollie came and reeled the line in. As the kids caught fish after fish, Nige still hadn’t caught anything apart from an old rag and was fast becoming the subject of everyones jokes! He did get a go on the better rod though and redeemed himself by getting a catch too. After a successful fishing expedition we returned home for a BBQ and a game of cricket. Everyone was playing very nicely and keeping the ball in the garden. That was until I got up to bat. My first smack of the ball sent it across the fence and to the other side of the road. With my second I lost a ball. Despite my efforts it seems Dad and Jack are still right. I shouldn’t be allowed to have a turn at batting, I’m just to much of a risk!

On Sunday morning we packed up the car and decided to spend a few hours on a beach before driving home. We drove into the car park and searched for a space. There was one camper van that immediately caught our eye. On the roof lay an old torn up sofa and a large wooden ladder. We were all laughing about it when Nigel leaned out his window and shouted to the guy and girl standing in front of the van. ‘What you got a ladder on your roof for?!’ The couple stared blankly back as we all laughed louder. They must have been German judging by their accents but they replied that the ladder wasn’t theirs. That just made us laugh even more! We drove around trying to find a space but having no luck we found ourselves back where we’d started. Just as we were giving up the German couple came over and knocked on the window. ‘There’s a space down there which we’re moving to, so you can have ours if you like?’ Of course we agreed. Watching to see them back their sofa/ladder monstrosity out of its space we were aghast to see them get into a completely different mini van and move away. It hadn’t been their capper at all! They had only been standing by the ladder van! As we looked closer we saw the real owners of the old van still sitting in it. Needless to say we all fell about in hysterics while Nigel tried not to feel too silly!

Cathedral Cove is a magnificent sandy beach hidden away in the rocks. However to get it is an interesting walk! On the way down the sign said it would take forty five minutes to walk but Nige assured us it would only take twenty. He was right but it was twenty minutes of intense exercise! We didn’t just walk down a path to the beach. No. We were down steep steps, up steep steps, down hills, up hills, round bends, through bushes, across fields, past cows, past birds that sounded like mobile phones, in the baking sun, in the shade until finally the last decent of a million steps brought us to the cove. But it was totally worth it. After crossing a barrier and running through an arch in the rock that said beware of falling rocks we reached our destination. Stripping off Ollie, the kids, Nigel and I ran towards the water. Now, seeing as the sun was so hot I expected the water to be a decent temperature. This was not the case. It was absolutely bloody freezing! Even after five minutes in the water I was still cold, so much so that instead of acclimatizing to the water I just went numb! Even the guys couldn’t pretend they weren’t cold. Every time Ollie pushed Mac in, the poor boy would shoot back out shivering like he’d just fallen in ice! Perhaps refreshing isn’t quite the word to use but it was certainly a surprise! We have been promised the water will be warmer in the summer...I hope so!

Back on the sand the sun continued to beat down on us making it almost to hot to sun bathe. I made sure I had lots of sun cream on as I am determined not to burn out here. I am leaving my disastrous red days behind me in England! After a couple of hours it was time to head home. The walk back up to the top was far more grueling than on the way down and Ollie, Char and I were already dying by the time we’d made it up the first lot of steps! Usually walks back are supposed to feel quicker but I can’t say this was one of those. 

* * *

We have only been here a week but we both already agree, New Zealand is a very beautiful country. Of course we have only seen a small part of it so far but that only makes me excited to experience more. The countryside, and there is a lot of it (!), is much like England. Rolling fields, hay bails, cattle and yes some sheep! Surprisingly not as many sheep as I had anticipated but apparently there is more on the south island! The woodland and forests are dense and thick with huge ferns and trees that I’ve never seen before. The sea is a wonderful clear blue that has many little islands dotted through it. The coast that I’ve visited so far is a little like Cornwall but a hundred times more beautiful (if that’s possible!), and even more green! It’s easy to feel immediately at home here. Ollie has already used every adjective going while describing how magnificent the views have been. You can’t help but mutter ‘wow’ every time you take another corner and an even more wonderful sight than the last comes into view! I was expecting beauty but nothing on this scale. 

* * *

To be with family is the greatest treat we’ve had on our travels yet. We may be on the other side of the world (I keep having to remind myself that!) but it really doesn’t feel that way. In fact I couldn’t feel more at home. Being with Charlotte, Nigel, Mackenzie and Skye is just lovely. From the moment we all saw each other it has felt so natural and it’s already hard to believe Ollie and I only met Skye for the first time a week ago! Mackenzie and Skye are great kids and I am having so much fun with them. To be around children again is awesome, however my stamina on the trampoline is a little out of touch! It’s quite surreal to suddenly be ‘Auntie Amy’ and ‘Uncle Ollie’ but I love it. Char and Nige have been so welcoming and it’s awesome to see Ollie and Char together. This is the start of a fantastic new part of our trip and we couldn’t be more excited. There maybe some challenges but I’m definitely ready for them...I think!

‘Auntie Amy?’ Yes Skye. ‘Where do babies come from?’

26/11/11

Welcome to Hollywood...

The air is polluted, you can feel it in you constant loss of breath. There are a few ‘bright’ lights littered above the street. Nothing spectacular, just a lit up McDonalds, Hard Rock Cafe and a handful of theaters. The pavements are meant to be formed from star dust, but they’re just the same as the rest. Cracked and broken. Tacky shops selling awful costumes and tat nobody want make up the neighbourhood. A faint smell of pot is always present. A man with no hands stumbles down the sidewalk. Another guy with a palm full of torn shopping bags drags past. This place is run down, a crumpled postcard from another time. The sign on the hill says ‘Hollywood‘ but the word on the street is disillusion.

Everyone on the boulevard seems to be excited to be there except us. We were expecting glamour, glitz, the golden age, kept preserved in all its finest moments. Stars’ names can be found in the pavements just like you’ve seen on T.V but they’re not as amazing as they’d have you believe. Like I said, many have been cracked by over grown roots from the trees and some have been defaced by morons. We saw one guy all on his own with a toothbrush, taking the time to clean some of the slabs. How depressing. There are studios around nearly every corner and a couple of famous theaters, but nothing here feels special. Just another street in America. Badly maintained, home to the poor and mad. The only cool thing are the hand and footprints of movie stars outside the Chinese theater. Someone there at least has made an effort to preserve them.

IIf you take a right off Hollywood Boulevard and head to the end of Fuller you get to Runyon Canyon. An almighty hike up the steepest side will get you to the top, and an awesome view of the L.A bowl. Mostly hidden by thick smog, we could just make out the vastness of this city as it stretches as far as the eye can see. To the left, in the distance, is the famous white lettering. It beams down on the famous streets below, a relic of another time. We are so high up that my ears have popped. The climb has left me winded and jealous as other far fitter dog walkers jog past. Everyone looks on with disgust as one guy blatantly sees his dog poo but doesn’t clear it up.

So where’s the celebrity? The glamour? The famous palm tree littered roads drenched in sunshine? We take a walking tour with a local guy who stops by the hostel. He warns us we’ll stand out, to pretend we’re architecture students. Says he’s the only person who does a ‘walking tour’. We arrive in Bel Air by bus. Probably the only people to do so in quite a while. Immediately I understand what our guide was saying. There is nobody about. Cars whizz past with black out windows but there are no faces anywhere. A few gardeners and maintenance men drive past and give us the finger. I’m not sure why. As we walk along the corroded and beat up roads framed by eight foot tall bushes. This is supposed to be a rich area so why are the roads so bad? Our guide says they’re originals from 1923, like that means they’re relics. Why not repave them? Because they’re history. Oh please.

As we are shown house after house belonging to some famous or other person I realise all we’re going to see our iron gates. Privacy is the main priority here. Each house is basically an island. Shut off from the outside world, connected only when needs be by those crappy roads. The next road we turn down has candle wax melted into the curbside. We look up to a window with a balcony. ‘This is where Michael Jackson died’.

I thought I would enjoy the walking tour but instead I’m left feeling empty. I’ve entered a different world and feel completely alienated. I realise I’m not interested in where the stars live. I’m not a stalker. I wouldn’t go staring into my neighbour’s house so why am I trying to see these people’s? They’re only houses...well much, much bigger houses. The money these places cost. It’s enough to make anyone feel a little sick. As we wait for the bus out of ‘paradise’ cars drive past and people watch us from they’re Jags, Bentleys, Porshes, Mercs and Hummers. People at a bus stop must be a novelty for them. Wasn’t it supposed to be us staring?

We get off at Rodeo Drive and head towards the shops. Every house along this avenue is unique and as always, big. 30’s, 50’s, contemporary, villas, art deco, every style of building can be found here. These houses weren’t behind bars but the cars in the driveways still screamed super wealthy. After ten minutes we reached a crossing. In front of us large glass fronted shops loomed. As we walked past shop after shop we looked in with amusement. There was hardly anything on the shelves and too many staff crowded a single person in each shop. These weren’t the kind of stores you just walked in to. The air smelled of leather and perfume. Like when you walk into a department store yet more refined. The smell of money. I’ve never experienced anything quite like it. It was a smell I will never forget. Beautiful yet so far away from reality. Nothing in ‘real life’ can ever smell that good.

Again I thought I would be excited to be there but I wasn’t. I didn’t even take any pictures. We were out of place, showing ourselves up. It was clear we didn’t belong. No one walks onto Rodeo Drive. I needed the toilet anyway so Ollie and I decided to keep walking until we found a cafe or something. That was a mistake. We must have walked for over two miles and not once did we see a place we could have gone into. You might think that’s pathetic and that anyone should be able to go in anywhere but I can assure you that’s just not the way it’s done here. Even in my best clothes and make up on I wouldn’t have stopped for lunch at one of the restaurants. It’s not real life. No wonder famous people so often end up off the rails. Nothing they are surrounded by holds any semblance of normality. And the worst part? Go two or three blocks over and you’ll be back in the dirt with everyone else. Wealth surrounded by poverty is never a pleasant experience and yet here in Beverly Hills that’s exactly what’s going on. And it’s the same as always. That blind eye turning.

I’m not being disparaging on purpose to look ‘cool’ or ‘arty’ this is honestly how I feel about Los Angeles. Some people may love the fake tacky glamour and the rich cut off in a suburb but I certainly don’t. I have no problem with the famous and wealthy but it just doesn’t sit right with me that such different pay grades are living just meters from each other. That some people can accumulate such wealth while others can’t even afford to buy a pair of proper glasses. I sat on a bus next to a guy who had lenses half an inch thick in metal frame that looked like it had been made from a coat hanger. He lives in Hollywood. But you’d never believe it from the photos. It’s just not fair.

We wanted to feel like we were seeing a piece of history but it didn’t work out that way. Hollywood could be anywhere and anywhere could be Hollywood. Because all that’s really left is a name.

18/11/11

Disneyland anyone??

I only get up at 5.30 A.M if it’s for a very good reason. Well today was an exceptionally good reason! We were off to DISNEYLAND!! If I was to portray the state of pure excitement I was in all day properly, I would have to write this entire blog entry in capitals! Instead I’ll just write DISNEYLAND that way! The two hour bus journey and the moody bus driver couldn’t dampen my mood. Even the horrible, horrible shock we got at the entry gate didn’t manage to deter my more than jubilant mood. I was at DISNEYLAND and nothing could ruin my day! (Well our day but mine more!)

We had met a guy at the hostel back in Austin and he had been selling Disneyland tickets at half price because he said he was trying to get rid of them after not using them himself. Now before we left England, Mum and Dad had warned me not to fall for scams. They said we wouldn’t see them coming, that even nice people can be bad and that the best stories often turned out to be the biggest lies. So when Ollie came over and told me he had got two tickets for $100 my alarm system should have been going wild. Admittedly I was a more than a little wary but we hung out with the guy quite a lot at the tickets appeared genuine enough. Besides if Ollie trusted the guy I thought he must be o.k! Oopsy!

We reached the entrance gate and proudly handed over our tickets. ‘These tickets have already been used’ was not the next words we ever imagined we would be hearing but sure enough that’s what the lady was saying. Of course there was the proverbial you must be mistaken, how can that be and are you sure before she called her supervisor to help us. Turned out the tickets had been used, way back in June. Apparently we had been duped. How foolish did we feel saying ‘we got them off a guy we met, seemed genuine’. Furious we turned back towards the ticket booths. Angry at ourselves but definitely ready to kill Mr Idiot. Ollie got straight on the phone but there was no answer. Thankfully we did get a reply to our texts and there may be a check in the post but who knows?! The worst part is after we had hung out with Mr Idiot for a few days in Austin we had both realised what a liar he was about everything. If only that had made us think twice about the tickets we had purchased...

Anyway. Desperate not to let the damned tickets ruin our day we queued up and purchased new tickets. Yes they cost twice as much but at that point we didn’t care. We got tickets that would allow us into both parks (There is the main one and then a new park that is half completed). Jubilantly we ran back over to the entry gate and proudly produced our new tickets with broad smiles. The same lady looked at us...again. ‘These tickets aren’t valid until 10 A.M. Only hotel guests can enter early.’ Our faces fell. Was this not our day?! Then, realising it was us she had a think and then to our surprise said ‘Oh I feel so sorry for you guys, go on I’ll let you in.’ BONUS! We were finally inside DISNEYLAND and had an hour to play before the bloody kids arrived! (Only Joking!...Well....!)

Of course I dragged Ollie on all  the kiddie rides possible (they are my favourites) and he had to squish beside me into the small carts. I was a bit concerned because I couldn’t work out if the Snow White ride had a happy ending but I soon forgot this whizzing round at the Mad Hatters Tea Party in a cup!! My favourite place was Toon Town and I got to go round Mickey Mouse’s house and Minnie’s! I was a complete child for the whole time and I loved it! I didn’t care that we were two of the only ‘adults’ in the park without a child...a buggy would have only slowed me down! We went on an underwater submarine ride a bob slay mountain race and took a ride in Mr Toad’s car!

Lunch was Oliver’s choice. Naturally he chose an all you can eat ranch style BBQ. As always food at the park was expensive so I thought if we made the most of this meal we wouldn’t need to eat again. So we did. Four buckets of chicken wings and ribs, two bowls of ranch beans, coleslaw and corn bread (which tasted like Madeira cake?!) later we ordered desert. On the menu it said the pudding would be suitable for two people. In reality six could have eaten it! A giant, and I mean giant dish of baked cookie dough arrived with five balls of vanilla ice cream on top, finished with hot chocolate fudge sauce. Normally this would be my version of heaven. But after so much chicken, to be honest, I was panicking. Not because it looked to much but because I couldn’t stand the thought of not being able to eat it all. Desert is where I perform best after all! Well I tried hard but in the end I was defeated. Barely able to walk be stumbled away from the table. We had certainly eaten all we could eat!

Obviously after a big meal the sensible thing to do was head over to the other park and the more adult rides. Nothing like a roller coaster to settle that after dinner feeling?! The California Adventure park was far less busy which meant far less queueing yay! The park is currently being built but there is still plenty to do. It’s aimed at older people so there are some bigger rides there. We took a wild river ride and both got thoroughly soaked! It was great fun though and much better than the one at Alton Towers! We even had to wear seat belts!! Next we decided to ride the big roller coaster that had caught our eye. It looked like a traditional old fashioned pier side roller coaster. Nothing scary, just a bit of fun. How wrong could we have been?! Not only was it probably the fastest ride I’ve ever been on (maintaining the speed throughout), it also had a corkscrew twist and some mad ups and downs. Involuntarily I didn’t stop screaming throughout the whole ride and Ollie was constantly telling me to shut up. But I couldn’t help it. I just hadn’t been prepared! I felt like I was about to take off! We both said it was the best roller coaster we had ever been on but my stomach didn’t quite agree.

To calm down we went on the big Mickey Mouse ferris wheel. You could chose either a standard gondola to sit in or one that swang. Ollie chose the one that swang. Once seated he admitted that actually he would probably feel sick. I was no impressed. I had wanted a static gondola but had decided to keep quiet and not ‘be a baby’. Once we had moved off though we both regretted not being honest. Imagine that not only are you moving in a circle but you are also rolling back and forth as if you’re going to come off the rails and plummet into the lake below. it wouldn’t have been so bad if the wheel was constantly turning but because it had to load each new gondola the wheel continuously stopped. This meant we would start rolling and swinging until eventually our gondola settled itself. I’m not going to lie. It was a pretty traumatic experience! All I could think was that if Mum was with us she would have been sick ten times and have passed out before we’d even got half way round!

Again we thought we were choosing a calmer ride when we went on Goofy’s Flying Club ride. And again we were wrong. The little plane we were in jerked about wildly as it took the course. I’m sure I was sick in my mouth at that point!! Finally I told Ollie we had to slow down ‘cos I was by now feeling really dizzy. The California Adventure was definitely a big leap up from the other park! Especially seeing as I hadn’t psyched myself up for any big rides that morning! The only ride left that wasn’t for little kids was the Hollywood Tower ride. I thought it was just a haunted house style walk through ride so wasn’t worried at all. Even as the video story was setting the scene and showing people entering the ‘Twilight Zone’ through a plummeting lift I didn’t click on. But as we queued outside the elevator doors something inside me began to panic. ‘We aren’t going to plummet in a lift are we?’ I asked Ollie. Just going in some lifts normally is enough to make me feel sick. I really don’t care for them much. They are one of the only things that actually make me feel sick generally. Ollie assured me that, that wouldn’t make a very long ride and that they couldn’t do it because it would be too dangerous. People would fall all over the place.

When the elevator doors peeled back and revealed rows of seats I started to panic. Only slightly, but there was definite fear beginning to roam about my body. We sat down and fastened the belt. The ‘Bell Hop’ wished us good luck in a very theatrical and funny way, lulling me into false hope. The doors closed and we were in pitch black. The block of seats moved backwards. A video flashed to life. It warned us we were about to enter another dimension. ‘Maybe it still will be just a scary show’ I begged. Suddenly everything went black. My seat began to shake. Before I could grasp what was happening, wind was rushing past my face and we were shooting upwards at a huge pace. Stop. Then we fell downwards. My bum left the seat and I was screaming. My worst nightmare coming to life. And there was no escape. No time to think we were going up again, further this time. Then down. Stop. Down more. Where we back at the start? Then at an insane pace we were rushed up and up and up in the blackness. A shutter shot open and I could see the tops of trees. We were all the way at the top of the tower. By this time I was clinging to Ollie’s shoulder in terror, tugging his t-shirt, almost strangling him. From that moment I couldn’t tell you much of what happened. I closed my eyes and tried not to cry. I was absolutely petrified. We went up and down, up and down more times. Even when I thought it was over I only found we were back at the top. It was horrible! As we fell for the last time I thought my stomach would leave my mouth. I pushed my toes into the barrier in front and tried to hold my self static in the air. I don’t think my bum spent much time in the seat for the whole thing! I was too light to keep myself down! Shaking I managed to walk off the ride. Ollie was laughing and complaining that I had stretched his t-shirt. I couldn’t talk. The ordeal had been too much. I went into the restroom and sat down. Five minutes later I was ready for the world again. The Hollywood Tower was not my finest moment in life!

* * *

It was late afternoon when we headed back over to the first park. We had some shopping to do for the little ones in New Zealand and Ollie had promised me a Mickey Mouse too. Ever since he had found out my original Mickey from Disneyland Paris had been sent to the incinerator many years ago he had vowed to get me another one. I was very happy about this. The incinerator story is one of the more grievous parts of my childhood so I viewed a new Mickey Mouse as part of my recovery! (If anyone reading this wants to know the ‘incinerator story’ then please see my beloved father!)

It was now time for the Disney parade. And what a parade! It was a winter wonderland theme and I can’t describe how wonderful it was but I do have a video! Mickey, Minnie, Winnie The Pooh, The Seven Dwarfs and all my other Disney favourites marched through and gave us all big waves. I was at the front with all the kids waving wildly! After that it was time for the firework display that would end the day. Again. Wow! For the umpteenth time on this trip I am saying ‘I have never seen anything like it’! The show lasted a full ten minutes and was perfectly choreographed to music. Fireworks of all different shapes, colours, sizes and bangs launched around the very pretty castle. A perfect way to end my day at DISNEYLAND! 

As we walked back through the magnificent main street in all its Christmas decoration glory I couldn’t take the smile off my face. It had been a really wonderful day. I didn’t want to leave really, it had all gone too fast! I think really you need at least two days to do both the parks but in true Ollie and Amy style we managed to see just about everything in one day! 

17/11/11

In english please, you know I don't speak Spanish...

I don’t know what I was expecting from San Diego so to say I was slightly disappointed wouldn’t be right. But that’s how I feel. Our hostel was up on Pacific Beach and quite far out from the city centre. It was literally on the beach and provided fantastic views of the sunset. In the summer I’m sure it’s a great place with a real party atmosphere and loads of party nights on the beach. However at this time of year it’s not really like that. Most of the people there were still up for partying but if I’m honest they weren’t really my kind of people. Ollie got on with them well enough and so did I, but I never felt completely comfortable. I was having one of my reclusive moods anyway so I was very happy to be alone for a bit anyway! So many weeks of being sociable has finally got to me I think!

Pacific beach reminded me very much of Newquay. It catered for surfers and although it’s a very popular destination for visitors some parts are quite run down. I could tell it was definitely a place where loads of Spring Breakers would frequent; just like G.C.S.E graduates go to Newquay! Now there’s nothing wrong with Newquay but after two days I’ve usually had enough and this was the same for PB. If the weather had been sunnier I might have felt differently but as it was there was no chance for sunbathing and the water was freezing!

We did take a trolley ride to ‘Old San Diego Town’ and that was super fun. It’s a small fake town made up of buildings that recreate how the city would have been when it was first built. There’s a county jail, candle stick maker, baker, general store, saloon and all the other places that would make up a western town. I loved the strong mix of mexican and wild west and there was a museum displaying lots of old stage coaches and history. I say history but everything on display was only about a hundred years old or a little bit more! It was so weird for Ollie and I to think that most American history only goes back that far! We haven’t got used to it while being here at all. I’ve lived in a house that is older than amost anything in American history! We had some amazing roasted peanuts from a vendor, smelt wonderful olive oil, candle wax and sweets and all the little restaurants smelled delicious too! Every shop seemed to be selling our favourite things! There was even a beef jerky shop for Ollie to drool over!

Ollie’s favourite place though was the Cigar shop. The original shop had burnt down in the big fire of San Diego many years ago and this was a careful reconstruction of that exact old store. Inside was part museum and part tobacco shop. Antique pipes sat in old display cases, barber shop tools in a rack on top of the counter and ancient gambling chips and artifacts covered in dust sat in piles all about the place. Some pipes were wooden, some ivory and one that interested me in particular was made from Wedgewood Jasper. The blue and white china stood out boldly from the other pipes and actually looked a bit out of place. It was funny to see though! Ollie’s attention went immediately to the hundreds of cigars stacked on the counter. Flavoured, strong, mild, spicy, sweet, short, fat, stubby, thin, long, expensive, metal cased, every type you could imagine. Instead of going for the most ridiculous fattest, biggest cigar for the cheapest amount of money, this time Ollie asked some advice and took time to chose a cigar he would actually really enjoy. He also got all excited when he found a brass Jack Daniels zippo. Like a little boy he skipped out of the shop with his purchases and didn’t stop looking at them for the rest of the day!

Twilight sneaked around us as we stood on the trolley platform. I had one more stop I wanted to make before we went back to the hostel. No trip to San Diego could have been complete without getting a picture of Qualcomm stadium, home of The Chargers for Jack! It may have been practically dark by the time we got there and freezing but we did walk around the edge and get some photos. O.k they were only concrete pillar and fluorescent sign shots...but the thought was there!!!!

* * *

Travelling has finally managed to wipe me out and I honestly have never felt as tired as I have this past week. A constant headache, eyes involuntarily shutting, teeth aching, teasy tired that has a boer constrictor grip on me. So although Ollie managed to make it out for our last evening at the hostel I very sadly was in bed by eleven. Shame on me I know. I had been trying to read my book but it’s such a difficult read and had got to a very dodgy part, so falling a sleep was far too easy. However in the morning Ollie admitted he was just as tired and so instead of doing any other sight seeing we headed straight for the bus station.

We arrived at the Greyhound station to find it completely closed up. A security officer standing inside the door. According to him the station had moved today, although there had been no information to tell anyone this. We were told we could wait inside for a ‘shuttle’ that would take us to the new place. A few minutes later a woman and her family car turned up with a Greyhound sticker stuck on the boot. ‘I’m the shuttle’ she said. It was a pretty random moment as Ollie, a stranger who spoke little English and I sat in this woman’s car and hoped she really was taking us to the new station and not Columbia to be sold as drug mules. 

According to the woman, Greyhound had been kicked out of their previous abode; they were letting down the quality of the neighbourhood! A few weeks ago this might have surprised us but not anymore. Moving offices and not telling any travelers was just something Greyhound was more than capable of! Oh and their new station? An out door small triangle of seating in the middle of a car park. You stay classy Greyhound!

So that was San Diego. An interesting if slightly unimpressive visit. I suppose the main thing that upset me was finding out that ‘Anchorman’ my favourite San Diego based film was not actually filmed there at all! I was devastated to learn that the majority of filming took place in Long Beach and that the San Diego sky line was superimposed. Even the famous bridge poor Baxter was thrown off didn’t exist. I’m not angry. Just disappointed.

15/11/11

we left our ......'s in San Francisco

Please edit the title as you feel necessary...

For the past couple of days we have been partaking in the delights on San Francisco. And I have to say it has delighted very well! Ollie has dubbed it ‘The city that has everything’ and I think he is pretty much right. Although it is quite a large city it doesn’t feel like it and the apparent laid back nature made us feel right at home. Like most places, San Francisco is split up into different areas and each has its own unique feel.

We began our first day by taking a walk to Laguna street and the world’s most crooked road. Well I say we took a walk...more like a hike! The uneven nature of SF’s roads aren’t always apparent and one minute we would be walking along a perfectly flat road and the next it would shoot up at almost a ninety degree angle in front of us. These steep inclines were torture to walk up and then just as hard to walk down! I had to try and stop myself from breaking into a run which made me walk looking like I needed the toilet...not so cool! Anyway Crooked Street was pretty crazy and with all the flower decorations and perfectly pruned hedges decorating the sharp twists and turns, I assumed it was just a tourist stunt. However I was proved wrong when I learned it had been built like that in the 1920’s to help cars get down the super steep road. Today though it does just look giant a giant flower pot maze!

From there we moved on, up and down more shockers of streets, towards the north end of the city and Fisherman’s Warf. We both loved this part of the city. There were loads of piers with fishing boats, pleasure boats, day cruisers and some historic refurbished ships from the big trading years (most originally built in England yay!) mored up, as well as big factory warehouses for unloading and selling catches. On the other side of the street were the usual souvenir shops, family restaurants and amusements. It kind of felt a bit like a big Cornish fishing town. As it was Veterans Day there were lots of people about which gave the place a friendly feel. The most popular attraction here though is Pier 39. Built of wood and looking pretty fine, this is where the main hub of activity seems to take place. Here you can buy some more pricey keepsakes, eat out on the decking, buy amazing hot chocolate and get a great view of Alcatraz. Pier 39 is also the home of the local Sea Lions. We were fascinated for ages by the big fat lolloping lumps with their tiny back flippers (?) and wagging teeny tail nubs. Every so often they would all decide they’d had enough of one particular seal and start barking and pushing to try and get rid of him or her. Another two were quite happy taking in the sunset from the back of someone’s boat! They were all hilarious and they always had a crowd admiring them. 

On our second evening we visited the pier again and this time there was a juggler there doing a show. It was kind of for kids but lots of us adults were thoroughly entertained too! He was really funny and great at getting the audience involved. Well apart from the moment he got a woman volunteer on stage. She looked like she’d just come out of a truck in Alabama and spoke like it too. When the juggler asked if her belly button was an inny or a outty (not so funny now but at the time it was integral to the act I promise!) the woman just shook her head. ‘Do you have a belly button?’ was the obvious next question to which she again shook her head. ‘Are you an alien’ got a confused eyebrow. Anyway they completed the trick and when the juggler thanked the lady and said she could leave the stage, she took a huge bow and curtsey, in a most sincere way! So very odd...

I have not told you the greatest gift that Fisherman’s wharf had to offer us yet. From the moment we smelled it we knew it was going to be good. But tasting the delectable delicacy   was when the true wonder was revealed. The Calm Chowder the small market type servers were selling was THE BEST I have ever tasted (Yes better than Maine!). Served in the middle of a carved out freshly baked sour dough bun, the chowder was the perfect mix of, creamy, potato, clam and seasoning. The bread added even more splendor to the meal. Yum! It was so good we shared one the first day and then each had our own the second! Well Ollie had crab the second time but I think the Clam was best!

In the afternoon Ollie and I walked back towards Union Square in the centre of the city. Along the way we came across ‘City Lights Bookshop’, still independently owned (Woop) and dating back to 1953 where it provided one of the main meeting places for writers of the Beat Generation. Of course I had to go in and look around, it was a crime if I didn’t! The shelves were lined with some of my favourite books, ones I wanted to read and others that just simply fascinated. I was lost in books while Ollie sat patiently on a stool waiting. To think this was where some of my heroes had once met and talked was an awesome thought. Ollie relented and said I could chose one book to take away. Secretly I had been hoping he would agree to this and now I just needed to get my list of about fifty down to just one. It was hard! In the end I chose a book I had wanted to read at university but had never got round to. It was a collection of letters sent between Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg. Clutching my book I stepped back out into the drizzle with a smile. Across the street was another shop specializing in Beat literature and it had a number of signed first editions and rare covers. Unfortunately these were a little out of my travelling price range but I did enjoy looking, as did Ollie, but he was admiring the crumpled early editions of Playboy at the back of the shop!

Further up the street we found Chinatown. Much smaller than others we have visited but still just as colourful and wonderfully smelling. By now though I have got used to what tubs to look in and which ones not to if I don’t want to throw up over some chicken feet or pigs eyes! Through the gated entrance we passed onto Union Square and all the stores that make up SF’s fantastic shopping district. There we found all the major U.S departments stores, shopping malls and chains. As it gets closer to the end of our trip it becomes increasingly difficult to not give into my deep love of shopping! I held out though...well until we got to the Ghirardelli Chocolate shop! Seeing as this famous brand was founded in San Francisco it seemed rude not to take a look. On entering we were given a free piece of their special christmas edition which was wonderful and just made me want to buy the whole shop! Once more Ollie avoided disaster and said we could pick one bar to buy. As with the bookshop my choosing process took some time. It hadn’t been a good day for Ollie really, stumbling across my two strongest vices! 

The following day we decided to do some walking and see the rest of the city. We took a bus down to our starting point which was Haight and Ashbury. These streets had once been formed from a generation of hippies who had made this part of SF their home, including some of the surrounding parks. Summers of free love must have been spent on a many a grass knoll around here and the smell of pot brownies is still in the air! But today it is a slightly different kind of place. Still an eclectic mix of people, smells, thoughts and beliefs, to me it was beginning to look a little tired. Graffiti murals had begun to peel on walls and all the shops had dusty windows selling many unusual items of clothing. It felt as if the soul the mini village might of once had, had left long ago, only to leave ghosts for memories. Haight is still a living place for many a tie dyed pair of trousers though and hair that looks like a barber stopped half way through. Interesting as the place was it didn’t make us want to linger. Not that it felt dangerous, not at all, but like I said I just couldn’t grasp a sense of the place. 

Haight leads onto Golden Gate Park. A bit like Central Park but with far more of a lush green country way about it. You really could forget you were on the outskirts of a big city here. On entering we passed a group of kids (well older teenagers!) who were falling all about the place. They yelled at us that the best thing we could do today was ‘Get spun out on acid and smashed out of our faces drunk’. Apparently it’s awesome. I wanted to turn around and let rip at them but I held back. You see, on this trip I have had just about all I can take of ‘system rejectors’ that think they are so bloody cool walking around stinking and covered in mud with dogs on leads that look like they need a good home. Do they have a point?! Apparently they think they are giving the finger to the so called ‘system’ when really they are just being plain pathetic. Asking me ‘Do you want some of my lice I have lots’ and commenting that I’m ‘just another drone feeding the fascist state’ is not big or clever. All these kind of young people succeed in doing is giving a bad name to those people who genuinely have something to protest about. By all means don’t shower to make a point about getting clean water to Africa but don’t just not wash because you think it’s rebelling. It isn’t you just STINK! And then don’t be surprised when you aren’t allowed into a shop. No it’s not because people are apposed to your view point it’s because again YOU STINK!

I’ve always followed the view point that to make make a difference you have to have lived in and understand the situation you want to change. For example the Occupy protests. Most of the people protesting have been genuinely crippled by their governments and banks and are therefore rightly angered. But a young person who has never worked or tried to pay their own way wouldn’t have a clue. What do they know of hardship? Now I’m not talking about homeless people here. I’m talking about the type of young people I’ve seen hanging around, getting drunk and just being plain ridiculous. I’m sure many of them have very decent homes to go back to whenever they choose and parents who will give them any money they want. So for them ‘rebelling’ is just an infantile hobby that they can indulge in whenever they wish and then come twenty five or thirty decide to pack it in, put on a tie and go to work for Dad at the local law firm. In turn becoming what they once pretended to appose. This is how I see it. There are genuine people trying to make a difference and then there are a whole load of dirty stupid kids getting the meaning of ‘cool’ extremely wrong. But this is only my opinion...

Rant over and further into the park we took many wrong turns to finally come across Strawberry Hill. Surrounded by a moat of water the hill looks very pretty. Seeing that there were pedalos to hire, we couldn’t resist an hour floating around this lovely place. And I thought England was Health and Safety mad! Even just for an hours hire we had to fill out disclaimer forms! Oh and the part Ollie hated most? We had to wear life jackets! The water was only about two foot deep, if that (we know ‘cos we accidently got stuck half way round and dredged the moat for them a bit!) but still we had to wear the bright red jackets! Mortified, Ollie plonked onto the pedalo and we set off. The girl had told us it would take about an hour to complete the circuit but with mine and Ollie’s supreme cycling action and nautical knowledge we completed it in half the time! We had so much spare that we doubled back on ourselves! Other people were peddling so hard but not going anywhere. We had found however that by keeping to a consistent gentle pace the pedalo moved much better. What can I say. The English are clearly better on the water! 

We did have one small incident when Ollie wanted to take us on a ‘safari trail’ and we got stuck in some logs and had to reverse. A couple watching nearby even did the beep noises for us! (For Jack - the couple in question looked exactly like the male pair in modern family complete with baby!) I got us stuck on a giant log while trying to hunt down and grind a sea gull and Ollie drove us into a poo storm. We had been aiming for a small arch made by a branch and we wanted to see if we could peddle through it. However when we got there we were startled by dozens of small splashing sounds all around us. Looking up we saw hundreds of birds crowded into a couple of trees. Each bird had obviously decided that now was toilet time and so had unleashed a rain of white drops onto us. Thankfully Ollie’s quick and skillful pedalo maneuvers removed us unscathed from the drop zone!

We continued our walk towards the Golden Gate Bridge. I had caught a glimpse of it the day before through the rain but was looking forward to seeing it properly on this sunny day. An old man tried to give us directions and warned that it was ‘quite a hike’. The conversation was awkward for two reasons. One - we actually knew the way and so we knew the man was giving us incorrect instructions but had to pretend to take them in anyway and then proceed to walk in the direction he told us until he was out of sight and we could turn around. Two - What we think is quite a hike and what Americans often presume to be quite a hike are two very different things. Three or four miles to Ollie and I was not a long way but to some Americans we’ve met, to walk that far would be madness. Anyway we didn’t mind playing the foolish English couple for a bit if it gave amusement to an imminent octogenarian!

The walk turned out to be a great trek through some of a national park and a chance to get into some good conversation to enjoy along the way. The park ‘trail’ we were following was a bit odd as it would twist and turn for no reason. In the end we just looked ahead and found a straight path to take as the other was pretty pointless! Maybe they just made people feel good about themselves as if they’d walked further than they actually had! We reached the base of the bridge and it was a great surprise for me to see a beach beside it and a large open park. Of course I shouldn’t of been amazed. I should have learned by now that over here anything worth taking a look at is made into a very big deal! There was a little pier and kids and adults were fishing for crabs. Ollie was astounded that they could eat the crabs they caught because ‘when I fished off the wall back home we couldn’t eat those crabs’. Yes Ollie.

But the bridge. Ah the bridge. Just as magnificent as I had hoped and just as red! Or ‘Firey Orange’, whatever the colour they paint it! It stands out from the blue sea and sky and the green hills it connects so perfectly that you almost wonder if it isn’t a natural occurrence itself. The little white sails of boats passing beneath and the sun reflecting off the cables is a super sight. I couldn’t help but keep taking pictures! By this time Ollie’s mind had turned to food and he had spied a hot dog stand touting a ‘family farmed, organic, fresh, genetically unmodified, 100% beef’ sausage. We decided to share one (because Ollie still wanted his crab chowder back at the pier too) and joined the large queue. We chose a ‘mutt dog’ which was half pork/half beef, with onions of course. Then I added whole grain mustard, ketchup and pickle relish. Ollie said I could have the first half. Well. Ollie very nearly didn’t get his half! That hot dog was the most delicious I’ve ever tried. So meaty and so juicy that I didn’t want my bit to end. The condiments and relish only enhanced the dog further so that I had to muster all my decency to pass Ollie’s half over. Obviously after his first bite, Ollie shouted at me for only letting us share! I had to physically restrain him from spending another $5.75 and getting another one. Yes that hot dog was expensive but my life was it worth it!

San Francisco has been our favourite city to visit. It really does have everything you could possibly want all tied together with a great atmosphere and stunning scenic views. I’ve really enjoyed my time here and would definitely want to bring people back for a visit. Although maybe I’d take the tram around next time, walking fifteen miles in a day is probably only fun as a one time novelty!

12/11/11